Fantasy Favourites Read-a-thon: DAY 3 (DATING PROFILE, YEAH!)

done

Oh, I’m a bad person. I neglected the last post. There was so much going on – play rehearsals and an elephant stampede and holy shiet I’m glad you weren’t there, it was crazy. So here’s my dating profile prompt fulfillment, and let me tell you I had an amazing time with this one. Thank you, Bookshelf Reflections; you did well. I apologize for any crude humor – it just seemed appropriate, somehow.
The following characters are from the novel “Un Lun Dun” by China Mieville.

unbrellissimo
NICKNAME: HOT_UNBRELLA_DADDY06
ABOUT ME: It may be broken, but it pops up just fine.
AGE: 40 something?
GENDER: M
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGLE
CHILDREN: NONE
FITNESS/BODY TYPE: Tall, unpleasantly skinny, rather wiry and gangly and unattractive. But I can jump off rooftops and stuff.
EDUCATION: UnLondon School of Obvious Villains (Master’s degree in The Obvious Secondary Bad Guy Studies)
INCOME: Unbrellas
OCCUPATION: Obvious bad guy
LIKES: Evil people, doing bad things, long black cloaks, broken umbrellas, cliches
DISLIKES: People who fix umbrellas, otherwise small Indian/Pakistani girls
LOOKING FOR: Large anthropomorphic wads of smog

deeba
NICKNAME: xBADASSBROWNGIRLx
ABOUT ME: I’m like a million other heroines ‘cept I got Indian heritage or somefin and I talk in a really British accent. Cor.
AGE: 18 (actually 12, maybe this dating profile is a bit inappropriate then)
GENDER: F
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGLE (Soon to be involved with a ghost, though. Everybody sees it coming.)
CHILDREN: NONE, are you effin nuts, I’m twelve. I mean I’m eighteen.
FITNESS/BODY TYPE: Cor, you perv
EDUCATION: Grade seven or somefin
INCOME: I’m twelve. I mean –
OCCUPATION: World-saver, heroine, chosen one
LIKES: Anthropomorphic objects
DISLIKES: Bad guys, large wads of smoke, you know that sort of fing.
LOOKING FOR: Ghosts I guess, I mean who am I kidding Mieville has it all figured out don’t he. Cor.

a book
NICKNAME: SEXYBOOK
ABOUT ME: I’m a dirty, dirty book. Look inside me and see for yourself. ;;;;;;;;)
AGE: 100s, maybe 200s, maybe even older. STILL HOT FOR U THOUGH
GENDER: OTHER
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGLE (SPACED)
CHILDREN: ISN’T BIOLOGICALLY PROBABLE
FITNESS/BODY TYPE: VERY SQUARE, AND FAT
EDUCATION: Oh baby, I’m unrivaled. I know just about everything. Even the dirty stuff. ESPECIALLY the dirty stuff. 😉
INCOME: N/A
OCCUPATION: Sitting on shelves or being carried in people’s arms. Occasionally providing advice.
LIKES: Dominatrix types. More leather = better.
DISLIKES: Large fires, Nazis
LOOKING FOR: A sexy dominatrix who will trail her finger down my spine and make me shiver. ;)))))


Too much fun. Silly but fun. Sorry I haven’t been as up to date as I probably should be. I’ll do my best to work on the prompts as they come and as we go forward. Thanks for stopping by.

~ Brynn

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About thecellarboy

17. I write, play music, and have a cat that likes to bang his head against doors until they open. View all posts by thecellarboy

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